Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Ephesians 5

The "Therefore" that begins chapter 5 harkens back to the call in chapter 4 to a new life in Christ. In chapter 4 Paul called us to live righteous lives and to be kind to each other because God in Christ has forgiven us! He then encourages us to live lives so pure that there is not even the hint of sin among us. I struggle with his call to put away vulgar and silly talk - ouch! I am encouraged by Paul's call to live in the light, and I will truly make an effort to "grow up" into Christ who is the head of us all!

Verse 21 (not verse 22!) begins what has been a very controversial portion of Paul's writings. I remember losing my first church member over a discussion around these verses in 1983. I was a new pastor in my first church and he wanted me to tell his wife that she had to submit to him. He had a leather Bible and swung it around as he talked and I thought he was going to hit me! I asked him if he loved his wife unconditionally and sacrificially like Christ loved the church. He insisted that that was not the issue and stormed off not to return to our congregation. I wonder still what became of that poor woman. For me we miss the nugget of this scripture if we do not start at verse 21 and linger here for a while. Paul writes, "Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ." or in another translation "Submit to one another therefore out of love for Christ." In 23+ years of marriage I have observed that Shari and I are at our best when we take turns leading. There are some things I need her guidance in because she is smarter and more naturally gifted in those areas. There are some areas where she follows my lead because I have certain talents and gifts. We are practicing and growing up together in this marriage trying to become one flesh.

There is a longer deeper discussion I long to have about verse 33. The chapter with these words, "Each of you, however, should love his wife as himself, and a wife should respect her husband." Isn't it interesting that Paul instructs men to love their wives but he instructs women to respect their husbands. For a thorough treatment on this see Dr. Emerson Eggerich and his book "Love and Respect". Or, come to church this Sunday and maybe I'll unpack these verses a little bit there!

3 comments:

Marshall Bailey said...

With our wedding just around the corner, verses such as these are always peaking my interest. It seems simple enough, but it can totally be taken the wrong way.
I remember in high school, the boys would use this verse in a joking manor, telling the girls that they are to submit to them. That's not exactly what he's saying, especially if you read further.
Bill, you were totally right with what you said to that gentlemen in your church, and I worry for what happened to the woman also! Wives are to submit just as the church submits to Christ, but that's a totally different story, and what Christ has in return is incredible.
Marriage, love, it's a team thing. The church couldn't survive without Christ, the story of Christ wouldn't continue without disciples, the church, etc. In the same way, a marriage needs both the husband and the wife to work together to help each other, using the strengths they have to help the marriage as a whole. Two become one flesh! Guess that means when I get married the new me will be artistic, and the new Sara will drink more Mountain Dew, because we'll be one person! You get the idea, right?
It's great to finally get to discuss these verses for what they're worth. Sara and I have been talking about them the past few days, and how we will both assume roles in the marriage and our future family, but we will always be there for each other every step of the way. Christian Love - I'm so glad I found it!! "We love because Christ first loved us"
God bless,
Marshall Neil Bailey

mw said...

This is another chapter that hits home with me.

The vulgarity that we (I)allowed to become a part of our (my) day-to-day military life must have caused much groaning by the Spirit.

My "excuse" was that I didn't take the Lord's name in vain, therefore I wasn't really swearing.

Oh Satan, you had me fooled then, but praise the Lord, I broke that curse several years ago.

I enjoy being asked why I am different now, so I can give glory to my Father - it is not me, it's the Father within me.

I enjoy walking as a child of light and testifying to the powerful changes that He can accomplish if we submit and obey.

and now it's time to sing...

"I once was lost, but now am found..."

Hoo Rah again!!

Beth Quick said...

Wish I could have heard your sermon! Of course, I have a great difficulty with what the verses say here about husbands and wives. Actually - I don't, honestly. I consider them verses bound by the context of the time of writing of Ephesians, and so I just move on from there. But I'm aware that that is how I have to treat these verses to cope, and aware that making such an interpretation means I have to ask careful questions about what interpretations I make and why and how....

Anyway, those tricky verses aside, the key of the chapter for me is right in verse 1. "Be imitators of God."